I went to Prison!

For quite some time now I have been frustrated, and confused about my musical direction.  Every direction I try to go, I seem to get a closed door.  I've wanted to record my latest songs, the production company doesn't move fast enough for me.  I try to record from home, my equipment now needs updated.  I try to put together a band to do some local touring, and though I have amazing musicians who are willing to join me, they are all scattered across the state, and working other jobs.  I try to get involved at church, and for one reason or another am not welcomed in.  My schedule is too crazy to commit to the big commitment of our church choir.  So where does that leave me?



I looked into the Prison Ministry a couple years ago.  I have a friend who works in corrections, and she gave me the name and number of a guy doing great things in Prison ministry.  But he lives 90 minutes away. :(  Eventually I got hooked up with my church's Prison Ministry.  I was so excited because I feel like here is a group of people who could really benefit from the gifts God has given me.  I could really make a difference for God's kingdom, and being some beauty and joy into a dark place. 

The next step was orientation.  I picked out my most conservative outfit, and headed to the prison. This was my first time going anywhere near a jail or prison, and to be honest I was really nervous.  It was important to me to appear strong, but also caring, and let God's love shine through me.  In the initial meeting, I was called out several times for wardrobe violations!!  I had on a shirt that if I lifted my arms they could see my armpits.  Nope, can't have that.  I had on peep-toe heals.  Nope can't have that.  Then I had on my big hoop earrings, which I love.  Nope, can't do that.  I understand the importance of all the rules, but it will take some getting used to! 

From there we got a tour of the prison.  It was NOTHING like I imagined.  I really looked for the most part like a school hallway.  There were no bars anywhere.  They had I'm guessing hard plastic windows instead.  I didn't see anyone in shackles.  Inmates were moved to and fro in lines with little disruption.  I don't really know what I was expecting, but it was a lot less scary than I had let myself imagine.

Finally, we were able to peak into our cell block.  As part of this ministry the Chaplains at the prison set up a program where different church's adopt a cell block.  They provide Sunday services, and Bible Studies for that cell block.  My church has a male block, and a female block.  It was really quite uncomfortable looking in on the cell block.  The men were having their rec time, and it was an odd experience like viewing animals at a zoo, who don't want to be viewed, and are also viewing you viewing them.  It was not comfortable for any of us I'm sure. 

The next step was getting my badge, and then I was set to go.  Well, I was ready, but I guess the ministry team wasn't ready to bring on the new members yet.  I waited a whole year before I finally heard from someone.  I know they had to get some things in place first, but really it felt like yet another closed door to me.  So you can imagine how happy I was to get the call saying, can you come join us.  "Yes, yes of course!"

I was scheduled to come sing and lead praise and worship for the first time.  I was so excited to get to be a part of this ministry, but then the Friday before I was set to sing, I got positional vertigo.  Oh man, that literally knocked me off my feet.  I won't go into much detail about it or the treatment, but I'll just say that if I turned my head at all the room would start to spin with such intensity that I was immediately sick.  Thank God, there was a quick treatment, and I was feeling better within a week. 

They scheduled me again to sing.  This time I was sure I was going to make it.  As Sunday approached, the coordinator kept calling to be sure I felt up to it.  She was so kind to check on me, and even offered to coming with me for my first time to make sure I was comfortable.  I was thankful for her advise and information from her past experiences. 

Sunday finally arrived, and I pulled up to the prison.  It was over 100 degrees in the middle of the summer, and I was dressed in 2 layers of long sleeve shirts, long pants, boots, and my song sheets.  Better safe than sorry on my first time in!!  I didn't want to get turned away at the door for showing too much skin. 

As I arrived, all the other church representatives gathered at the entrance too.  It was really cool to see the people from different churches come together to provide a church service for these men and women who would otherwise have to do without.  They were even telling jokes "Did you hear this heat wave is so bad that the Baptists are starting to baptize with sprinkling?  The Methodists are using wet wipes?  Ya, and the Catholics are praying God starts turning the wine back into water!"

We were joined by the team member giving the message.  I knew him from church already, and was excited to get to work with him on this ministry.  He runs sound, and was familiar with me as well.  We were each taken to our adopted cell blocks.  This time the inmates were in their cells when we entered, so we were the only ones being watched.  We set up the equipment and the guard let out any inmates where were interested in joining the service.  I think there are about 40 guys in our cell block, and I would guess we had about 20-30 men join us.  They really did a nice job, they got their seats and waited for us to get started.

We opened in prayer, and then it was my turn.  I briefly introduced myself, then I introduced the song "Amazing Grace".  It is really important to me to not just sing the songs, but also talk about the meaning a bit.  I got John Newton's biography copied on the back of the lyric sheets we handed out.  It told of John's sinful past, and his new life in Christ who had such Amazing Grace that He forgave all of John's sins.  It is one of Satin's favorite lies to make us believe we are too sinful for God to want us.  But the opposite is true.  The Bible is filled with sinful people who God turns around and uses greatly.  We sang all 4 verses.  The guys did a good job, mostly on the first verse. :)

After that, I had a song to sing for them called "What Love is This" by Kari Jobe.  It is a beautiful song about God's love.  What a great concept to go along with his grace.  As I started the song, I could tell the atmosphere was one of "lets see if she can really sing"...  So, I did.  I love this song, and it is so easy to let go and worship.  I just finished a big part of the song, as the accompaniment came back down, when the men started clapping and cheering.  They were on their feet giving me a standing ovation.  I had to stop the song, because they clearly thought I was done.  It was such a warm welcome and acceptance that I was just thankful.  "Sing it again!"... "Where can we get your album?"

Then it was time for the message.  The gentleman gave the message and did a great job delivering the word in a relative way.  He gave some examples from him own life, and even threw in some Isley Brothers. :)  I think the men enjoyed it.  The it was time for his closing song, but for some reason his CD wouldn't play.  That's when the men started asking for me to sing again.  I said I would, but only had the same song.  That was good with them, and they promised not to cut me short this time. :) 

This time when I started singing many had their heads bowed, others had their eyes closed.  It was much more a spirit of worship and contemplation, and it was such a joy to see.  I loved singing in that space too.  The cell block really provides for some great acoustics, no mic required.  I sang all the way to the very last note of the songs, praising God.  Again the men cheer, but this time I believe with praise to God. 

The speaker invited anyone who wanted prayer to come on up, and for the first time ever, almost every man came forward for prayer.  It was truly amazing.  He prayed over those men for almost 20 minutes.  Praise God!!  Many thanked me for singing, others asked for the name of the song I sang.  They were really respectful and I so appreciated that.

I'm signed up to continue serving in the prison ministry, and I'm really excited to see what God does in the hearts and lives of these men.

I left the prison praising God.  Thanking Him for this ministry, and allowing me to serve here.  I know God is capable of the impossible and hard to imagine, so I am praying for salvation every single man in our cell block.  God is able.  What an amazing difference that would make in the prison, and in the men as they leave prison.  Thank you God.  You are able.